De-bearding
You are here: Home > Photography > De-beardingIt was time for the beard to go, but when you have facial hair, it's important to make the most of it.
As it's taken me more than 30 years to be able to grow any decent sort of mo', I felt that a quick dabble into the world of beard and moustache styling was called for, if only to frighten myself and some small children. I must admit a certain amount of inspiration for this page came from this fantastic effort, however, I'd already thought of most of these beard stages before finding it, and he never took it to its frightening, but logical conclusion.
First up, we have the full beard. Relatively unscary.
Next though, we have the Lemmy. It's such a fine beard - I actually sported the Lemmy for about a week. Yes, I wore it out in public. Several times I walked past something reflective and scared myself; such is the nature of the Lemmy. It's also a fantastic beard for scowling in.
The next logical stage is the Muttonchops beard. It looked pretty pathetic on me, and just didn't have the sheer ROCK BALLS of the Lemmy, so it quickly evolved into The Pando.
The other fellow's page refers to The Pando as a "Gunslinger", which I can see, especially if you are American and have no idea who Pando is (hint: get the movie out, it's bloody fantastic). You could also call this beard a Merv, although his is of course infinitely superior.
Next things start to get a bit scary: The Flanders. Hi-delly ho-delly neighbourino!
Finally, the logical conclusion at which all shrinking moustaches must arrive: The Hitler. You could also call it the Charlie Chaplian of course, but I think Adolf has pretty much ruined this moustanche for everyone now (and it doesn't help that that fucknuckle arseclown Mugabe has one too). It's amazing how much authority one carries with this beard though. My first effort was a bit blonde, so I got out a texta and coloured it in. Enjoy.
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